Understanding and Navigating the Complex Journey of Grief

Life can be overwhelming. If you are alive, you've experienced grief in some form or fashion. Typically, grief is most commonly thought of as an emotion that comes about when someone passes away. But it's more complex and can show up under any circumstance: 

• Death of a spouse, child, parent, friend, or loved one
• Separation or divorce
• Suicide
• Diagnosis of a disease, chronic illness, or health issue
• Loss of business, job, or promotion, or career change
• Financial loss
• Loss of home or property (foreclosure, natural disaster)
• Loss of a pet
• Loss of friendship
• Romantic breakup
• Abortion/miscarriage
• Significant life changes (graduation, retirement)
• Imprisonment
• Global events (politics, pandemics)
• Racial and social injustice

Have you gone through any of these? Sometimes, grief is a sudden loss. It's out of the blue and stops you completely in your tracks. However, it could also be caused by something anticipated or expected. Either way, these losses cause shock and trauma.

The reality is we haven't been taught how to grieve.

We mimic what we see from others, often leaving us with more questions than answers. Many of us turn to Google for guidance, trying to navigate the stages of grief or find steps to cope. Others, like myself, find distractions or ways to mask our feelings. For example, I buried my turmoil under work, letting it become my refuge from facing the pain head-on.

Grief is a powerful force. Left unaddressed, it wreaks havoc on our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. It can consume us with feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation. It's like a pot on a stove, brewing, bubbling until you least expect it, and then it spills over, often triggered by the tiniest things—a harsh word, a long-forgotten memory, or an anniversary.

Have you ever whispered to yourself, "I don't know if I can do this," when faced with a heart-wrenching loss? It's a universal feeling, yet deeply personal. Society tells us to keep moving, to maintain our composure. But in doing so, we often lock away our true feelings, presenting a brave face to the world while we crumble inside.

As an author and certified grief coach, I've learned that grief is not a linear process. It doesn't conform to a timeline or a predefined set of stages. It's messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. Each person's journey is unique and shaped by their experiences, relationships, and beliefs.

Throughout my journey, I've faced grief in many forms—losing loved ones, navigating career shifts, and grappling with health challenges. Each loss taught me a little more about the nature of grief and the importance of facing it head-on. I've also learned that it's okay to lean on others, to ask for help, and to seek solace in spirituality.

Wherever you are in your journey, know that you are not alone. Embracing your grief is not about seeking quick fixes or adhering to societal expectations. It's about creating a safe space for your emotions, allowing yourself to feel and process them.

Let's move beyond coping. Let's aim for healing. This means less reliance on the often overwhelming information available at our fingertips and more trust in our inner strength and faith. It's about going beyond social clichés and focusing on genuine, personal growth.

Grief is an uncomfortable topic for many, often leaving us unsure of how to support ourselves or others. Through sharing my experiences and insights, I aim to provide practical advice and comfort in those difficult moments. We'll explore how to surrender our suffering, even when it feels like faith is faltering, and how to involve others in our healing process without losing our sense of self.

I invite you to embrace your grief journey with openness and vulnerability. Allow yourself to feel, to cry, and to heal. Surround yourself with people who support your journey and are comfortable sitting with you in your pain. Remember, you are not alone, and by acknowledging your grief, you are taking the first step toward healing.

May this journey, though challenging, lead you to a place of understanding and peace. Embrace it with courage, and know that support is always within reach.