Are You Overdoing It?

Women are amazing. Do you have family and friends that blow you away by the depth of their grace, kindness, style, and wisdom? Women who juggle all of the responsibilities, roles, and the never-ending to-do lists. Do you know anyone that fits that description?

 (Pause and take a look in the mirror. Be impressed with yourself.)

 My question is this:

Is all the hustle and bustle impacting your body, heart, and soul? Are you overdoing it?

 The dictionary defines overdoing as:

• “do, use, or carry to excess; exaggerate”
• “exhaust oneself by overwork or overexertion”

 Are you feeling fulfilled, happy, and passionate about your life? Or are you exhausted and struggling? Are you hiding your true feelings? Or are you so numb and on auto-pilot that you don't even know how you feel?

Maybe you feel great and other times you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you feel as if there is this constant source of pressure in your life. You feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders every single day.

You can even go from feeling all the feels in one day or even in the course of one hour. One minute you are content and happy. Then something triggers you into depression and then that makes you pissed off. Whatever you feel, know that it’s okay. There is no right or wrong.

 It doesn’t matter if you are divorced, married or single. It doesn’t matter if you have kids, fur babies or none of the above. I’ve found that in general women take on so much no matter what. By nature, we are caregivers and nurturers. We want to take care of everything and everyone else.

Are you taking the time for you so that you can tap into what you are truly feeling and thinking?

More often than not we use different aspects of our lives to avoid our internal struggles.

For me, overdoing and overworking is what I used to avoid things in my life. When I first started my career my relationship with my ex-boyfriend ended. This was the man I thought I was going to marry. I ended up working more to avoid the heartache and became focused on climbing that corporate ladder. I have also used my personal life to avoid health issues. It’s not something I consciously decided to do. I wasn’t aware of the problem. I didn’t even recognize the pattern myself. 

Four important questions to ask if you are overdoing it:

• What areas of your life are you avoiding?
• Are you overdoing the food, wine, and late nights to deal with the fact that you hate your job?
• Are you overworking to cope with the fact that your relationship with your partner or spouse isn’t what you want it to be?
• Are you using your to-do list to make excuses for why you can’t focus on your health?

 You have to deal with your fears and face your feelings. Otherwise, they will run your life.

This isn't easy. Digging deep and doing the inner work is tough. I encourage you to sit with this and journal or think through how this applies to you. 

To help you get started, here are 17 thought-provoking statements to consider if you are overdoing it:

Are any of these true for you? If you have more than 7 statements that are true perhaps it’s time to get more curious, open up and talk with someone.

1. You feel as if you’re not treated fairly, or fully appreciated for all that you do.
2. You feel scattered, overwhelmed and easily distracted. #squirrel
3. You feel exhausted and drained because you’re not taking care of your body, nutrition or health.
4. You feel like you’re drowning in your never-ending to-do list, and you always feel behind.
5. You feel like there’s no time to acknowledge yourself or your accomplishments because there’s always something else to do.
6. You feel like you have to be in “bitch mode” in order for people to listen and take you seriously.
7. You feel like in order to control the outcome. You have to do everything yourself because nobody can do it like you.
8. You feel guilty and selfish for having your own dreams, so you don’t say them out loud to anyone, not even yourself.
9. You feel a void in your life, so you spend money to keep up appearances.
10. You feel lonely and disconnected in a room full of people, even with your family.
11. You feel ashamed because your frazzled mind has you forgetting your friends’ and family’s anniversaries/ birthdays – until your Facebook notification.
12. You feel like you constantly need to prove your self-worth, intellect, and value to others, so they treat you like you matter.
13. You feel the weight of your own failures, and you can’t forgive yourself or move forward.
14. You feel disappointed in yourself because you know rituals are good for you, but you can’t stick to them.
15. You feel like “someday” will be better if you just keep pushing through, and everyday someday feels further and further away.
16. You feel the desire to live in the moment, but you never have the peace of mind to actually live that way.
17. You feel insecure about your own intuition or gut instincts and prioritize other people’s opinions over your own.

Remember, you are amazing. You may be a superwoman, but even Wonder Woman needed a little extra help to make things happen. We all overdo it; however, if this is a constant state of being for you then it’s time to play detective. Get curious, be open, and really dive deep to discover more about yourself. When we make time for the inner work that’s when we truly shine from the inside out and start to really enjoy life, we have been blessed even though it’s far from perfect. Spoiler Alert: perfect doesn’t exist.